Staying on course
Several times over the past few weeks I have begun to write what I hope will turn out to be long stories - novellas, novels, or whatever. However, I have found it difficult to commit to a long story once I have gotten about 5 - 15 pages in (when I mention page on this site, I will usually be talking about 250 words - the average novel sized page).
What happens is, I start writing thinking this is great, but after a few pages I start getting that feeling of doubt. I start asking myself if the story is going to be good enough to sustain a whole book. Then I stop writing. Then a few days later I will start on something else and usually bin that too.
This has led to a sizeable chunk of pages written, each feeling like a dead end. This leads me to ask myself why this is happening. So, here is a possible list of reasons:
- Inherent self doubt - a fear of failure and of being laughed at for producing, as Alan Sugar would say, pure “tut”.
- An inability to come up with a grand idea that would sustain anything more than a short story
- Attention deficit - a lack of concentration, or a failure to stick to something for the long haul
- Boredom - getting disinterested in the subject matter and lacking the appetite to stick with one set of characters and situations for a long period of time
The list could go on I suppose. Analysing those reasons, there may be a little of all of them in my problem. One thing I did not mention was writer’s block. For me, writer’s block is just an excuse and is something that covers over reasons like the ones I have listed.
One issue I can point at with some degree of confidence is my lack of reading. Many writers giving advice say that it is essential to read plenty of material. I would have to agree with this. It’s not true to say that I never read, but I do not read as much as I would like or would need to. This is something I am changing and have read a lot more recently.
One thing is certain from my experience: writing a novel is tough work. It requires great concentration, belief and some stamina. Once those are sorted, the story can follow. I can and I will conquer all of the above and get going - and stick with it to the finish.
Posted: June 11th, 2007 under Creative Writing, The Writing Process, Writing.
Comments
Comment from Cati
Time August 7, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Just came across this blog and related to what has been said on the creative process. I think it can be difficult to commit to your creativity sometimes. We can all get into ruts where we lack the motivation to continue with our work. I think the only answer is to stick with it. Whether you are happy or not with the finished piece is irrelevant becuase you would have learned from the experience and you will be able to pat yourself on the back and think to your self “At least I finished it”. You also might suprise yourself with the outcome of your work.
On Julia’s point on self-indulgence, I think you should think of it as creative indulgence rather than self indulgence. That way you are not personalising it and it takes the negativity away that we associate with doing something for ourselves. Life is too short to criticise ourselves for doing something we love.
Comment from admin
Time August 9, 2007 at 11:14 pm
Thanks for the comments.
Julia:
Interesting comment. It makes me wonder how much of the time I enjoy writing. If I don’t stick with it long enough, does that mean I don’t enjoy it enough? I don’t think so. It’s probably down to the type of job I have. I spent my whole day writing code (T-SQL, C#, Java or whatever). I find that quite mentally draining and by the time I get home, whoosh, I have lttle left to dedicate to the creative process. You see, writing code can involve some level of creativity.
If I worked in a shop or something where the level of concentration required was much less, I believe I would have more left to give to writing.
Wouldn’t it be nice to write full-time and make enough money 
Cati:
Good points also. I think you are right about the motivation. It’s about sticking with something to the end, for better or worse. I have started working on something now that I am enjoying writing. 2,000 words and counting. I’m just going to see where the project takes me and come out with a finished product. Then I’ll refine it and put it out there for whoever to decide on it’s merit. Then I’ll immediately get to work on the next project and do a better job.
Comment from Julia
Time July 22, 2007 at 3:43 pm
So much of what you say resonates with me. But there’s also the big issue of the feeling of self-indulgence. “I don’t deserve to spend so much time doing something that’s so much fun and not particularly socially useful.”